While I worked my way through the day I constantly checked my e-mails and waited on important information. I had documents that my life depended upon, and my self-confidence struggled to focus when I needed it to.
I continued to work on my rewrites, and each time my phone vibrated on the desk I jumped at the chance to check it. The e-mails were useless, a bunch of generic sales rubbish that I was bombarded with on a daily basis. It did nothing for my anxiety.
I was still waiting.
I’d reached another milestone Thursday evening; I’d completed my rewrites. Nature’s Destiny was another step closer to being published. Friday saw the beginning of the final edits, (juxtaposition anyone?) yet I still pontificated over that e-mail. No matter what I tried I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Was it good enough? Or had I digressed and lost the plot completely?
There was only so much hostility my mind could take from itself before I gave up completely.
And then it arrived with a score of 96%.
My heart swelled with happiness, and the smile that occupied my face was non-negotiable. My final creative writing assignment had returned, and it wasn’t awful like I’d convinced myself. I’d done it!
Sadness came soon after as I realised I’d finished another chapter of my life. I pondered for a while until I thought of the many pathways I was about to embark upon. After all, what good was a novel with only one chapter?
My journey was far from over with creative writing, it had barely begun. As I waved goodbye to one opportunity, I welcomed the next with a brave smile and a shielded heart.
I wasn’t invincible, but I felt like a superhero in my own world.